LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - For many people, New Year's Day marks an opportunity to make some necessary changes in their lives.The same goes for some of our favorite characters on network television. Like us, they're flawed. Of course, they also aren't real, but that isn't stopping us from suggesting the following ways they can improve themselves.
Seth Cohen on "The O.C." (FOX): Send Captain Oats back to the corral; hot girls and toy horses don't mix in the bedroom. Also, try a little "Queer Eye." The oxford shirts are OK, but as a newly minted stud, how about some leather? And don't worry, no matter how many eye rolls Ryan does, you're still the funny one.
Sydney Bristow on "Alias" (ABC): Leave Vaughn behind and discover your true love is Agent Eric, who wouldn't run off and marry someone else just because the DNA matched. And next time you have a two-year alter ego, get a better name than Julia. How about Desiree or Minx ... .
Spike on "Angel" (The WB): Crawl out of Angel's shadow now that you're both big heroes. And get a new look, because we're so over that coat and hair color. The Billy Idol thing is so last century. Maybe it's time to reclaim your inner poet and go all Victorian dandy. Hmmm ... .
Big Ed Deline on "Las Vegas" (NBC): Take Mrs. Ed on a real vacation, not just a dumpy motel as part of a plan to test Danny. Or if you're going to test Danny, make him think he's been kidnapped by the mob. You remember the mob, eh, Sonny?
Gil Grissom on "C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation" (CBS): Ask Sarah out, because we can't stand her cow-eyed longing anymore. Be nicer to Nick, because George Eads needs more screen time. And that beard? How "Manhunter" of you.
Lucas Scott on "One Tree Hill" (The WB): Be more focused. Your grades and game are both OK, but you've unknowingly been going to a small-town school with your half-brother for years. Does Peyton have to draw you a picture for everything?
Lorelai Gilmore on "Gilmore Girls" (The WB): Be more tolerant of your mother, although the woman certainly could meet you halfway. At least those Friday-night dinners help keep you quirkily fashion-fit, since who could eat much with Emily picking at everything you say and do?
Joey Tribbiani on "Friends" (NBC): Rachel and Ross as parents, Monica and Chandler adopting a kid, and Phoebs marrying Mike: Dude, it's time to move on with your life. Focus on a new acting gig or even consider moving. Set a deadline for spending less time with your Central Perk pals. Next fall looks good.
Elizabeth Rodgers on "Law & Order" (NBC): Score with your dream guy, police Detective Lennie Briscoe, but do it away from the office. That perfume you spent a bundle on is wasted around all those stiffs in the lab, and it's hard to cast "come hither" glances over gaping chest wounds.
Ephram Brown on "Everwood" (The WB): You seem to relish self-inflicted pain, so strive even harder to feel martyred by your life. That will be almost impossible to achieve, but it will certainly help if you continue pursuing passive-aggressive, mood-swinging, self-medicating Amy Abbott. Seriously, kid, snap out of it.
Dana on "According to Jim" (ABC): Be more charitable toward Jim. It's been several years, and he's still your brother-in-law. Sure, he can be a lout, but he has a good heart. Besides, he lets you hang at his house constantly, so he accepts you as part of the family. Why not reciprocate?
Calleigh Duquesne on "CSI: Miami" (CBS): Get a life outside work. Your sharp and lively mind provides excellent assessments of crime scenes and causes of death, and it also can attract a wide range of suitors.
Jake Foley on "Jake 2.0" (UPN): Give medical expert Diane more of the kind of attention she deserves from you. We know you're preoccupied with thoughts of someone else -- namely Sarah -- but take a good look at Diane. Witty. Cute. The authority on any nanite problem. Go for it.
Nancy Burton on "Ed" (NBC): Support husband Mike wholeheartedly. Yes, he's Stuckeyville's biggest lug, but his weird perspective makes him more lovable. Don't roll your eyes or wrinkle your nose at every nutty observation he makes. Besides, there are too many of them.
Lana Lang on "Smallville" (The WB): Accept there are secrets Clark never will reveal -- though we realize you can't read the comic books that would clue you into his destiny in Metropolis. Waiting for him to change ultimately will hurt you more than him.
Amy Gray on "Judging Amy" (CBS): Grow up. Even though you're often brilliant on the bench, you are a petulant teenager off it. Sure, you have the wisest mother, but it's time for you to be one, especially with your daughter on the brink of teenhood.
Montgomery Burns on "The Simpsons" (FOX): Share. As the richest man in Springfield, you are also the poorest man on the planet. Give a few million away; the schools need it, the town needs it and you can't buy a new soul.
Toby Ziegler on "The West Wing" (NBC): It may be too grand of a goal to have a sense of humor, so how about understanding politics is the art of compromise? Learn how to give as well as take, and stop acting as if the world rests on your slumped shoulders.
Karen Walker "Will & Grace" (NBC): No resolution list is complete without at least one alcoholic promising sobriety. Of course it would make you much duller, but how many martinis can one petite woman drink before her loopy act gets tired?
Abby Lockhart on "ER" (NBC): Accept that you are only human and not such a great one at that. Quit whining, and stop assuming that you know better than the other physicians. Now that you're back in med school, learn how to become a good doctor.So -- a sober Karen Walker? A mature Joey Tribbiani? An Emily-friendly Lorelai Gilmore? On second thought, while those might be commendable changes in real-life people, don't look for these TV folks to make them any time soon. They may be cranky, selfish, foolish, tipsy, shallow and self-indulgent, but that's also what keeps them unpredictable -- and us tuning in week after week.
